


Garden in my lungs

by Emilyray1997



Category: Riverdale - Fandom
Genre: F/F, Hanahaki Disease, hanahaki
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-12
Updated: 2019-06-12
Packaged: 2020-05-01 19:09:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,609
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19183900
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Emilyray1997/pseuds/Emilyray1997
Summary: When Toni and the rest of the Southsiders transfer to Riverdale high, Toni is faced with a rare disease. Unrequited love causes her to cough up flowers until she dies or is loved back.





	Garden in my lungs

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first fanfic and it’s not beta read so go easy on me lol. I love writing stories and figured I’d take the time to write a fanfic of my own for one of my favorite ships. Any constructive criticism would be great! Enjoy.

“This is it Pea, no more Southside High.” I say and Sweetpea laughs loudly.  
“Time to take on the Northside. How many fights do you think I can get in today?” He says with a chuckle and I glare at him.  
“How about none dude, let’s just be happy we get to go to a better school and keep our heads down.”  
“You’re no fun Tiny.” He says with a groan and I shrug. I don’t want anything to be able to jeopardize our integration, going to Riverdale high is going to increase the odds of me going to college.  
“Come on Pea, you know Jug is gonna day the same thing.” I say while getting on my bike. Sweet pea gets on his bike too and I laugh at his grumbling.  
The drive to the Northside is uneventful, but the stares we get when we arrive on campus are enough to make our skin crawl. Sweetpea, Fangs, Jughead, and I do our best to ignore the dirty looks as we walk to the desk that a raven haired girl has set up to welcome them.  
“Greetings! I am Veronica Lodge and I want to personally welcome you to Riverdale High, I’m hoping to be able to help make your transition here as smooth as possible.” She says brightly and part of me wants to roll my eyes at Veronica, but she’s the first person who hasn’t looked at Southside kids like trash so I fight the urge and give her the warmest smile I can muster instead.  
The bustling of the Southside students getting their schedules is halted when a red haired girl marches down the stairs.  
“Cheryl, no one invited fascist Barbie to the party.” Veronica says, her voice taking a threatening tone but still remaining somewhat warm. The red haired girl, Cheryl, cocks her head to the side and fakes a smile.  
“Wrong Veronica, no one invited Southside scum to our school. I will not allow Riverdale Highs GPA to suffer because of classrooms overcrowded with underachievers.” She says and I find myself tensing up next to Jughead. “So please, find some other school to debase with your hardscrabble ways.”  
“Why don’t you come over here and say that to my face.” I say without thinking.  
“Happily Queen of the Buskers.” Cheryl says, stepping closer to me. Before either of us can say or do anything else, Jughead is pulling me back while muttering something about keeping our heads down and Cheryl is staring straight into my eyes. My throat starts to feel like it’s on fire and my lungs start to feel full. Uncontrollable coughs start falling from my mouth and I run as quick as I can to the bathroom, afraid that the coughs wracking my body might make me throw up. I cough hard, so hard blood starts coming up as I fall into my knees in front of a toilet. The blood isn’t even the scariest part though, as I feel something start to come up my throat. I keep coughing and out pops a rose, a beautiful red rose is hanging out of my mouth with it’s thorny stem trailing down my throat, cutting me with every cough. I take out my switchblade and cut the stem carefully, sighing in relief when the stem in my throat recedes into my chest just as Betty walks in.  
“Hey Toni?” She calls out and I clear my throat.  
“Yeah?” I respond, my voice gravelly and rough.  
“Juggie asked me to come check on you. Are you okay?” She asks and I sigh, opening the stall door and holding up the rose for her to see.  
“I just coughed this up, and I’m not quite sure why but can we just keep it between us Betty? Please?” I ask and she nods, her eyes wide with panic. She takes the rose from me with wide eyes and then tries to smile reassuringly.  
“Well I’m a pretty good detective Toni, so we’ll figure this out.” She says, offering a hand to help me up.  
“Thanks Betty.” I say and she smiles again. 

The next morning, Betty is waiting for me by the front doors of Riverdale high with a large brown book in her hands. “It’s called Hanahaki Disease.” She says when I get close and I look at her confused.  
“What’s called what now?” I ask, taking a sip of my coffee and giving her as much of my attention as I can on a Wednesday morning.  
“Hanahaki.” She says again and I raise my eyebrows. “Look.” She says, opening the book and handing it to me. There’s a spread of pictures, roots growing into hearts and lungs. Bloody flowers and petals.  
“Hanahaki disease is a disease caused by unrequited love. When a person falls ill with this disease it is because their soulmate doesn’t love them or appear to love them in return.” I read from the book. “Seriously Betty? This sounds made up.” I say and she rolls her eyes.  
“Keep reading.”  
“Primary symptoms include coughing fits, tightness or fullness in the chest, chest pains, irregular heart beat, coughing up blood, coughing up petals, and mainly coughing up flowers. Often a person will cough up flowers that remind them of their soulmate.” I read and then sigh. “Okay so Hanahaki, how do I fix it?” I ask and Betty looks at me sadly.  
“That’s the really bad part, there’s not really a cure. There’s a surgery to take the roots out of your chest but there’s not a high success rate and 95 percent of the success stories end up killing themselves because the surgery takes away the ability to feel any kind of love. So the only real cure is for your soulmate to love you back. If that happens you’ll cough up the whole plant, roots and all. If not, the roots will strangle you until you die.” She rambles and I look at her with wide eyes.  
“Well geez Betty, way to be the bearer of bad news.” I say.  
“Sorry Toni.” She says softly.  
“So I just cough up flowers until I die or until my soulmate falls in love with me?”  
“Yeah, pretty much.” She says and I sigh.  
“Fucking great. I’m gonna die.”  
“Let’s just get to class and try to figure out who your soulmate is.” Betty says and I nod, letting her lead the way to our shared first hour class. AP biology with Dr. Phylum.  
We’re fifteen minutes into class whenCheryl Blossom struts in holding a pink tardy slip. “Sorry I’m late, I had trouble finding parking with the sudden influx of motorbikes polluting our pristine parking lots.” She says and I roll my eyes.  
“It’s fine Miss Blossom, just take your seat next to Miss Topaz so we may continue.” Dr. Phylum says and I groan.  
“Now then. I didn’t know snakes had a high enough IQ for advanced placement classes.” She says mockingly as she sits next to me and I feel the itch in the back of my throat start to grow.  
“Cheryl, leave her alone.” Betty says as I start coughing. It feels like the room is closing in on me, everyone’s eyes looking at me as I cough, so before I can embarrass myself anymore I stand up and run out of the room. This time, when I get to the bathroom, I cough up two red roses. I’m still coughing up petals when Betty walks in.  
“Fancy... seeing you... here.” I say between coughs and she smiles sadly, crouching down to rub my back.  
“So, Cheryl huh?” She asks and I shrug.  
“Guess so.” I say, my breath evening out but still wheezy.  
“Do you have the plague?” Comes a voice that isn’t mine or Betty’s and Betty groans, but stands quickly to close the stall door with her outside to face Cheryl.  
“Cheryl, seriously, can you please leave? Obviously she isn’t feeling well but she’s not contagious.” Betty says and Cheryl scoffs.  
“Dr. Phylum sent me, it’s not like I actually care.” She says and Betty sighs when I start coughing again.  
“Maybe you should care.” Betty says, an icy tone in her voice. “Just go Cheryl, seriously. We’re going to go to the nurse as soon as she can breath enough to walk. Just go.” Betty says and I wish I could see Cheryl’s face but from where I am, coughing up blood on the floor of a bathroom stall, I see nothing. I hear the clack of Cheryl’s heels on the tile as she goes to leave and then Betty is in the stall with me, helping me up as I wipe blood from my lips. 

“Yeah its a cold cut case of hanahaki.” The nurse says as she looks at the roses gripped in my hands. “Throw those away and let me see your hands, no doubt the thorns have probably done a number on your palms.” She says and I sigh but do as she says. “Can I call someone for you?”  
“I don’t have parents and only Betty knows.” I say and the nurse looks to Betty, who sighs.  
“She should go home, and I can’t release her without a adult.” The nurse says.  
“Call F.P. Jones.” Betty says and I sigh. 

When F.P. walks into the office, the first thing he does is hug me. “I took money out of the reserves and got you an emergency appointment with some specialist in Greendale.” He says, my face buried in his shoulder.  
“You didn’t have to.” I mumble, smiling when he pulls me tighter to him.  
“You’re like a daughter to me Toni, of course I did.” He says before pulling away and wiping his hands across his face, if I didn’t know any better I would think he was crying. “Now then, let’s go.” He says and I nod, following him out to his truck. 

The doctor does some scans to show the roots firmly planted in my heart and lungs and tells me everything that Betty already told me. When he mentions death, F.P. almost starts crying and I realize that this is what it’s like to have a parent.  
“Why don’t you stick around the trailer for a few days? Stay away from whoever it is that’s causing this?” F.P. asks when we get back to his trailer and I shake my head.  
“I’m gonna go to school, until things get too bad and I’m not going to tell anyone I don’t have to. I’ll be fine, I want to enjoy my life while I have it.” I say and he looks at me sadly.  
“Well you’re coming to live with me and Jug then, you can take the bedroom. I know it’s more than what you’ve got at your uncles and I know you couch surf a lot too. You’ll be living here.” He says firmly and I smile.  
“Sure thing.”  
“I would try to argue with you on the school thing but I know you’d win.” He says and I laugh.  
“I always win.”

The days passing by have me coughing up flowers every time Cheryl says anything directed at me. Or whenever I dream of Cheryl. Or whenever someone says Cheryl’s name, but Betty and I are still miraculously the only ones who know besides FP. “So has anyone been giving you guys trouble?” FP says at dinner with Jughead and I. I shake my head but Jughead just scoffs.  
“Of course, Reggie Mantle and his goons love any reason to stir up trouble. And Cheryl Blossom does everything in her power to make us feel small.” Jug says and I cough at her name. “Don’t try to deny it Toni, every time she says something to you, you’re running off to the bathroom looking like you’re about to cry. Cheryl is the devil.” He says and this time I cough harder and I start to think of Cheryl and how her hair smells like roses and her legs are amazing and her smile is absolutely to die for. Before I can stop myself, the flowers are coming up and there’s nothing I can do short of turn my head and cough towards the ground as petals and blood pour out of my mouth and Jug looks at me with concern and amazement.  
“Jug, I think we should drop this Cheryl conversation.” FP says firmly and he nods while I keep coughing, coughing until roses are hanging out of my mouth and I look at FP with tear filled eyes.  
“I’ve got it Toni.” He says softly and walks over with his switchblade out. I try to ease the coughs enough to sit still as he carefully cuts through four stems and throws them on the ground. He picks me up and carries me to the bedroom, laying me down in the bed and rubbing circles on my back.  
“I guess I know who you’re in love with now.” He says and I groan through my wheezes. “Don’t worry, I won’t say anything. Just know I’m here if you need. Get some rest.” He says and I nod. 

A while later I’m woken up by Jughead creeping into the room. “What is it Juggie?” I ask, my voice much more raspy than any other time.  
“Is that why you keep running off? The flowers?” He says and I sigh.  
“It’s called Hanahaki, you can ask Betty about it. She knows everything.” I mumble and he sits next to me.  
“If you don’t want to tell her, I’ll do everything I can to make this easier. This isn’t a death sentence.” He says and I sigh.  
“It is Jughead. If she doesn’t love me back the roots will grow deeper into my lungs and my heart and they’ll fill me up until I can’t breath and my heart can’t beat and I will die. And let’s face it, she’ll never love Southside scum like me.” I say, coughing lightly.  
“Well let’s stop talking about it.” He says and I nod.  
“Yes please let’s talk about anything else.” 

“Toni, I can’t believe you thought I wouldn’t love you.” Cheryl says and rest her hand against my cheek.  
“How could you ever love a gutter orphan like me?” I ask and she smiles softly, that smile that I would kill for.  
“I’ll always love you.” She says and leans in to kiss me, and that’s when I wake up. Coughing wildly with petals and blood flying from my mouth.  
“Toni?!” Jughead tells as he barges in the room, FP hot on his tail as I sit in the bed coughing and gasping for air, my hands on my throat.  
“Toni, just calm down like the doctor said. Try to breath through your nose. It’ll pass.” FP says soothingly and I try but the coughs keep coming and roses start to come out one after another. “Jug, go get some scissors and then start some water for tea. The doctor said the tea might help.” FP barks out and Jughead runs off as quickly as he can, returning with scissors before running off again. FP wastes no time cutting off the roses as close to my lips as he can but they keep coming, dark red and bloody. After what seems like ages I cough the last one up and can finally breath again as the thorny stems recede to their resting place and Jughead comes in with tea.  
“How many was that?” I ask quietly and Jughead counts them in the ground.  
“15.” He says plainly.  
“So it’s progressing faster than we thought it would.” I say and then clear my throat at the end.  
“I’ll call the doctor in the morning, drink this tea and Jug will sit here with you but you aren’t going to school tomorrow Topaz. You’re staying home and that’s final.” FP says and I nod. I feel so weak that I couldn’t care less if I went to school or not.  
The doctor tells us about the surgery the next day, and I refuse it. FP refuses to listen to the doctor about it either. “You’re not going to cut apart a 16 year old girl like a gunnies pig and then snatch away all of her feelings. It’s not happening.” He says forcefully and the doctor nods.  
“Then you have nothing to do but drink tea and tell your soulmate about this. Take a few weeks off of school and rest.” He says to me and I nod. I just want to sleep forever. The weeks at home see les flowers during the day but a massive influx at night from the dreams. Jughead has taken to sleeping on the floor of the room so he can be right there when the flowers start coming. Sweetpea comes by a lot too, because Jughead filled him in, and he damn near cries when he sees how fragile I look. It’s been months since the onset of my disease and I know I look like shit.  
“Are you excited to come back tomorrow?” Sweetpea asks and I shrug.  
“I guess so Pea, it’ll be nice to get out of the house.”  
“Well I’ll carry your books and Jughead will help out too. We’ve got a schedule. You’ll get brought this, you’re a fighter Tiny.” He says and I laugh.  
“I know.” 

 

FP takes Jughead and I to school in the truck, he doesn’t want me riding my bike and I don’t blame him. I’d probably crash it and at this point I’m not sure if it’d be an accident or on purpose. Sweets, Jug, and Betty don’t let anyone close to me and I don’t see Cheryl until lunch when she struts over to the serpent table like she owns the place.  
“What do you want Cheryl?” I ask tiredly before she can even get a word out and she frowns briefly but smiles immediately after.  
“I was coming over to ask Betty about AP Bio but since I’m here I have to know, when you were out for those few weeks did you spend the whole time smoking cigarettes? Because your voice sounds like you have gravel stuck in your throat.” She says and I groan, biting back a cough.  
“Damn it Cheryl, leave her alone.” Jughead says and she rolls her eyes.  
“Why Hobo King? Is she going to run off again with her tail between her legs? I really thought serpents had thicker skin.”  
“Leave her alone Cheryl, because she’s dying.” Jughead grits out and Betty smacks him.  
“Juggie that’s private.” She says and Cheryl scoffs.  
“What’s she dying from? Lung cancer from the cigarettes or liver problems from the cheap booze you rabble rousers like to drink?” She says, leaning forward onto the table and I start coughing when I smell her shampoo.  
“Toni, are you okay?” Sweet pea asks and I nod but I’m not able to stop myself from coughing and I know I’m too weak to run away. The petals start to come and Betty rises from her seat to stand behind me.  
“Juggie get the scissors out.” She says quietly and he nods. I keep coughing and Cheryl keeps staring as roses start to come out of my mouth. White ones mixed with the red this time, Betty wastes no time at clipping the flowers as they come and lightly rubbing my back. Cheryl keeps staring.  
“You need to go Red. Now.” Sweet pea says and she says nothing and makes no move to leave. The coughs stop and the roses recede and I’m left wheezing and leaning against Betty while Cheryl stares.  
“Here, rinse.” Betty says as she puts a water bottle to my lips. I do as she says, spitting the blood and water into a half empty bottle that sweet pea hands me.  
“Can you go? Please?” I ask Cheryl and this time she nods and walks away, an unreadable look on her face. “I want to go home.” I say to Jug and he nods.  
“I already texted my dad.” He says and I nod. Not even ten minutes later FP strolls into the cafeteria and glances at me before glancing at Cheryl, who is still staring. He walks over and scoops me up.  
“Come on kid, let’s get out of here. I’ll make you some tea.” He says and I nod.  
“I’d like that.”

The next day I brave school again despite FP insisting I should stay home. Betty meets me at the front doors with a cup in her hands.  
“You know, I know that tea is supposed to help my throat but I really hate tea. I just want a coffee.” I say and she laughs.  
“Lucky for you, it’s a coffee.” She says and I smile.  
“I wish it were you I was in love with.” I say and she laughs.  
“I don’t think that would solve our problem here because I’m in love with Jughead.” She says and I sigh.  
“If only I could charm you away with my wiles.”  
“Let’s get to class dork.” She says and smile.  
“Following you dude.”

As Phylum drones on and on about diseases in America I find myself zoning out to ignore Cheryl. “Excuse me, Dr. Phylum?” Cheryl says and I glance at her.  
“Have you heard of Hanahaki disease?” She asks and I groan.  
“Seriously Cheryl?” Betty asks and she shrugs.  
“I’m just asking our teacher about a disease in America.” She says with mock innocence.  
“It’s quite alright Betty, Hanahaki disease is a terrible disease. Flowers take root in the heart and lungs of the victim and grow and bloom the longer they exist. They’re brought on by real or perceived one sided or unrequited love and over time the victim will cough up petals, blood, full flowers, and stems. If the love remains one sided then the disease will progress until one of three things happen. The flowers will suffocate the person from the inside out, the roots in the heart will render it immobile and unable to pump blood to the body, or the esphogaus will ruptured causing the victim to choke but all three options end in death.”  
“And what of surgery?” She asks and before Dr. Phylum can speak I’m talking.  
“Surgery would render the patient incapable of feeling any form of love and sometimes incapable of any feelings. 95% of people who get the surgery kill themselves because it makes them feel worse. It’s not a cure, it’s an unethical procedure that leaves people worse off.” I say, resting my head on the desk and clearing my throat.  
“Well I guess you would be an expert on the disease, Topaz. Since you have it.” She says back and I can tell without looking at her that she’s smiling in a sickly fake kind of way.  
“Fuck you cheryl, leave Toni alone.” Betty says and I cough a few times before lifting my head and glaring right at her. I gather my things and storm out. 

“So who is this mystery person you’re in love with?” Cheryl asks as she approaches the serpent table.  
“You’re feeling ballsy Red.” Sweet pea says and I roll my eyes.  
“I just want to know who our dear TT is lusting after.” She says with a shrug and I roll my eyes again.  
“You gonna tell her?” Jughead says to me and I look at him curiously. “Because I don’t want you to die Tiny, so if you don’t tell her I will.” He says and I narrow my eyes.  
“Jughead maybe we just table this for another day.” Betty whispers and Jughead holds my gaze steady.  
“It’s you Cheryl. Toni is in love with you.” Jughead says and Cheryl says nothing but I start coughing.  
“Fuck. You.” I say between coughs. Jughead shrugs at me.  
“She needed to know Topaz.” He says and I want to scream at him but the coughs start to rip through my body and I can’t stop.  
“Toni?” Betty says concerned and I look at her with wide eyes because I find myself unable to breathe.  
“What’s happening?” Cheryl asks worriedly and Betty ignores her.  
“Toni can you breathe through your nose?” She asks, keeping her voice even and I shake my head. I can’t breathe at all, oh god I can’t breathe.  
“I’m calling my dad.” Jughead says as he pulls out his phone and I keep coughing, roses of various colors coming up my throat.  
“Fuck it Jug, that’s not going to help. I’m taking her to the hospital.” Sweet pea says, lifting me up bridal style. Just like FP has done so many times.  
“You can’t get her there on your bike Pea, that’s a recipe for disaster.” Jug screams at him as blackness starts to take over my vision. I keep coughing and try to tune them out, then it all goes dark. 

I never thought I’d die young. I mean, I didn’t think I’d live to be 80 or anything but I thought I’d at least graduate high school. But this darkness feels like death. It’s cold and tense and it feels like what I imagine death would feel like.  
“Am I dead?” I ask the void and I hear a deep chuckle.  
“No, Toni you’re not. But it was close. Can you open your eyes for me?” The voice says and so I do. And it’s bright in the hospital room. FP is holding my hand and crying. Jughead and Sweet Pea are standing stoically in the corner and Betty is sitting by the window.  
“How did I get here?” I ask, my throat raw but better than normal.  
“Cheryl. We couldn’t figure out how to get you here because we all had our bikes but Cheryl drove us in her car and Sweet Pea carried you in.” Jughead says.  
“Cheryl?” I ask, and I feel weird. The flowers not stirring in my chest at her name. “Where is Cheryl?”  
“She wanted to be here when you woke up but it’s been days. She went home to change her clothes and grab food.” FP says with a soft smile.  
“And now I’m back, with food.” Says a voice from the doorway.  
“Well you heard the lady, she brought food. Let’s clear out and eat.” FP says with a wink and a smile. “Give these two some space.” Cheryl smiles at him as she steps inside the room, handing him a bag from Pops as everyone else clears out.  
“How are you feeling?” She asks softly and I shrug.  
“Better I think, there’s no stirring in my chest when I look at you. I’m not sure why that is though.” I say and she smiles.  
“Maybe it’s because I love you.” She says.  
“Yeah that’s would probably do it. After a few days of reciprocates love you cough up the roots of the dying plant and you live life as normal.” I say with a nod and she smiles. “Wait, you love me?”  
“I do love you.” She says back and I smile.  
“Well then come here!” I say excitedly and she laughs, coming over to sit next to my bed.  
“I’m so sorry, TT, for everything I did. I didn’t want to have feelings for you. My mother forbade me from being deviant.” She says with a shudder, “but I couldn’t stay away because I love you.”  
“Kiss me. Please just shut up and kiss me.” I say and she complies. Her hair smells like roses and her lips are sweet. It’s even more perfect than the dreams I had before.


End file.
